Journey

I looked at them, blurred and hazy like looking into a foggy fishbowl, waving hands and wordless movement of their lips. Goodbyes and uncertainty from worried faces of friends and colleagues. I am going on a journey hoping that I can have the full use of my roundtrip ticket. I been waiting for so long, thinking to myself when they will start processing me?... then suddenly I am passing through a door and there I saw again, familiar faces of people who just waved their goodbyes... staring at me with awed wide open eyes, giving the thumbs up and half smiles, am I seeing tears of joy?

I am all alone again in a room for how long I can't remember, when I saw two figures coming. One of them cleaned and dressed up my naked body while the other took away the tube that was inside my mouth ( I wasn't aware I had one ). Only at this point I realized that my journey's almost over.

It was past eight hours since the waving of goodbyes and I am now lying flat connected to some tubes and machines in the intensive care unit of a hospital. The night that followed seems endless , the pain was so excruciating. With tears in my eyes I told the nurse attending me that I couldn't hold on anymore, i want to go to sleep now. She held me dearly and with a strong but so compassionate voice told me to stay awake and wait for some more 'till the morning comes. Her honesty and real love, telling me that most people that went to this same journey never made it because they fell asleep.

I am thinking of my wife and kids, how I wish they're here with me. It was very horrible to contemplate death when you are alone in a strange room, attached to strange machines and with a total stranger. I said to myself this was not the right time to go, I made a vow to stay awake and see the first rays of the morning sun.

My surgeon was beside me now saying how glad he was seeing me with eyes open, an instruction was given to my nurse to take away some of the tubes attached to my body...I almost fainted from the pain of tubes being pulled out from my chest and stomach.

The road to recovery was slow and painful but at least I have used my roundtrip ticket.

Hello sweetheart, hi kids and friends... I am back.

October 13, 2008